Q: I think I got bad advice after my divorce three years ago. I agreed to sell my house when my youngest left college and give half of the sale to my old house. She leaves for college in September 2021 and I haven’t sold the house yet. His name was never on the house and he really didn’t contribute anything to the money. He was regularly out of work during his marriage and did not try to find a good job for years. He then tried to fight his arrest, claiming he was a first-time parent only because he lost his job. At least he has a good job now so he can help pay for our daughters college.
I always felt like my lawyer was scared and I think that’s why he encouraged me to agree to such a bad deal. I don’t want to sell my house. Can I reverse the deal and keep my house?
A: Without knowing all the facts of your case at the time, I disagree that you got bad advice. In a divorce, it is common for one party to decide not to uproot the children and defer their equity share in the home until the youngest finishes high school. Just the deal you made and on the face of it – not bad advice. Frankly, it doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed to the house. If one of you owns the house during the marriage and lives as a family, it is a marital asset. And it doesn’t matter who pays the mortgage. Not all contributions can be measured in dollar terms. If that’s the case, stay-at-home parents will never get the benefit of their contributions to the divorce. Indeed, that is what the law is for.
I’m sure in retrospect it’s easy to think of him as a jerk who couldn’t keep his job, but I’m sure there was some value in being with the kids when they got home from school. No need to pay for childcare. That is why he tried to argue that they are the primary parent. The good news for you is that I didn’t push that argument all the way to trial, which would be costly.
Can you undo it now? No — property division cannot be adjusted in the future if someone changes their mind. However, if you qualify for a mortgage and can afford it outside of the foreclosure, it never hurts to ask for an approval. You need to look at this differently – it has allowed you to live rent-free for the last three years in half of the house. Now half of it is ready to sell – you can buy it or someone else will.
Email questions to whickey@brickjones.com.
