‘Farmcore’ Ontario home is selling for $800K and you may not need to buy groceries

If farmcore had a real-estate peak, it would probably be something like 76 Crystal Road — an Ontario home that brings juicy descriptors like “rusty” and “tiny” to mind.

The five-bedroom, two-bathroom home sits on a massive 36-acre farm in Jasper and offers buyers a “turnkey opportunity” to step into a whole new life. A simple life.

The front yard at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, is lit.The front yard at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, is lit.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

The lush grounds look like something Gandalf would love to wander. It has a mixture of grasslands, pastures and fruit trees. You can also produce sugar from nearby maps. Pancakes, man!

Aerial view of 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Aerial view of 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Chances are it won’t please the lazy, as the backyard has a chicken coop and three spacious greenhouses — all of which require serious maintenance. You’re basically inheriting someone’s Animal Crossing island, but in real life.

The Porch, 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, is on.The Porch, 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, is on.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

The interior of the house is where farmcore really comes to life. It’s a preconceived dream world, but, alas, Bob Ross only made landscapes.

In the kitchen at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper.In the kitchen at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

If you’re someone who lives to drink tea and ponder deep thoughts, you’ll wake up with a lounge. However, you may be reduced to life in sweatpants as stability seems unyielding.

A comfortable living space at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.A comfortable living space at 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Two green thumbs for plant life! If you plan and watch the right YouTube videos, you can avoid going to the grocery store again. And that, my friends, is an encouraging thought.

Greenhouse of the property.Greenhouse of the property.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Hobbyist musicians who need an audience can often attract friends to the property’s outdoor fireplace. You can hear the distant echo of Wonderwall echoing through the woods.

At 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, lit fireplace.At 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, lit fireplace.Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Farmcore Home

76 Crystal Road, Jasper, on.

76 Crystal Road, Jasper, on.

Rob Garvin | RE/MAX

Price: $799,900

Address: 76 Crystal Road, Jasper, ON.

Description: Farm Core is a dream home and safe haven during a zombie uprising in the province.

Look here.

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